Saturday, May 3, 2014

Congress Plan B revealed AKA 'Agent Cody Banks'

With all efforts failing, Congress is looking forward to Plan B post elections. Leaked reports have confirmed of a brainstorming session done to look at all options post elections. The most important decision to come out of this meeting is a brainwave by Digvijay Singh. He has suggested at training Raihan and Miraya Vadra Gandhi, children of Priyanka Gandhi and Robert Vadra for future potential Prime Ministers of India.

Digvijay Singh clarified that during his personal sessions with Amrita Rai he happened to catch "Agent Cody Banks" movie on TV. He thought that it will be first in the history of politics if they can train children to become politicians for future. Supporting him in this noble cause Ahmed Patel, cited that Akbar too became king as a child only. Since constitutional validity was never a barrier for Congress, a recent case being formation of Telangana they say they will pass an Ordinance regarding this. They can also show Rahul Gandhi going a step ahead tearing constitution which gives legal age to contest elections as 25. This move will also help in winning a potential vote banks of millions of children in future.

Mani Shankar Iyer has reportedly taken responsibility to devise a comprehensive program to train these kids. Raihan Vadra sorry 'Gandhi' impressed everybody by saying that if Uncle Rahul Gandhi can talk about balloons and toffees in public speeches then he can do it better than him. Meanwhile Sanjay Jha & Randeep Singh Surjewala is preparing a 'Dummy's guide to Politics' edition 2002 Gujrat Riots to teach kids how to handle interviews by deflecting ever question and targetting Modi. The book consists of seperate chapters coined by various luminaries in Congress. Financial aspects have been covered by Suresh Kalmadi. Ashok Chauhan & Pawan Kumar Bansal. Women issues have been discussed in detail by Digivjay Singh, Abhishek Manu Singhvi & ND Tiwari. An inspirational chapter 'Nothing is Impossible' has been written by Pratibha Patil. Azam Khan has been requested to write a guest article on Secularism. Ofcourse, Sonia Gandhi has written the important chapter on Poverty & Reservation as powerful tools of persuasion. Surprisingly Rahul Gandhi too has contributed to this albeit lots of cajoling and horlicks promises. Training couldn't have been completed without sharing his expertise on waking every morning at night, concepts on juptier escape velocity & how to give maza to people for empowerment issues etc. A blank chapter has been kept at the end in honor of Dr Manmohan Singh.

As part of the complete package they are having their Swiss accounts being opened so that they can claim whats rightfully theirs. Dart boards having face of Narendra Modi has been put up for physical exercises. Also, to acclimatize them Robert Vadra is taking them to mango people and conducting Hindi classes for them. On his request DLF has already setup an office for them free of cost. On being asked about their education being hampered because of this, Rahul Gandhi & Sonia Gandhi smiled at each other.

Jhumri Talliya & Toonpur have already been identified as potential seats from which these two can win.
A billion hopes are resting on them as per Congress and people ready to welcome them with open arms.

Disclaimer : The falling article is a failure and tries to achieve many things similar to what UPA did in last 10 years. Its been a rewarding & fulfilling rightful empowered experience to pass this article to poor like minded people like me. However, this article now way mirrors to any actual people, party or government as is the case of Adhaar Card made in few animals name. Any resemblance,if any is purely coincidental like Manmohan Singh as our prime minister.

No comments:

Post a Comment